Work.

So my daughter, Alice (who is seven) thinks I have a job. I volunteer in the school library each week during her library hour. Here's the thing: every time she comes to the library, I'm there. So in her head, I must always be at the library.

So when we were having dinner with friends she said, "My mom has a job now."

"She does?" They seemed surprised I didn't tell them.

"Yeah, she works in the library." And then Alice runs off to play.

But the funny thing is, it is kind of like a job. It's the one time a week I have to be somewhere at a certain time. And I'm almost always late and my husband and the rest of my kids make fun of me that I can't be on time to my job, which--incidentally--is once a week at 10:00 am (volunteer, of course). So all week I gear up for that one hour. It's the one day that I worry about my wardrobe. Do I have the right shoes? Should I curl my hair? I know, pathetic.

This is not to say I'm not busy. I work really hard at home. But I guess at home, no one cares if your hair is curled or if your shoes work with the rest of your outfit. And I said to Dustin yesterday, "I like working in the library. I think I could do it as a job."

And he said, "Well, you could do anything for only an hour a week."

Sigh. "No, I mean a real job."

"Why would you want to do that? You'd have to curl your hair everyday."

"True."

A Conversation with my Husband about Zombies.

 

 THE WALKING DEAD is freaking killing me. I was up all night thinking and dreaming about zombies. Here is an actual conversation I had last night with Dustin:

Me: "If I become a zombie, I'd want you to kill me. Cause, you know, I'm already dead."

Dustin: "So if you're going to become a zombie, kill you?"

Me: "No. Only kill me if I already am a zombie."

Dustin: "How would I know?"

Me: "Oh. You'd know."

Dustin; "Ok."

Me. "Just one shot to the brain, that's all it takes. But make sure you hit my brain."

Dustin: "Got it." Also he's distracted cause he's trying to watch the news and I'm all serious, because, you know, THE WALKING DEAD.

Me: "And make sure you teach the kids how to shoot guns."

Dustin: "Okay."

Me: "Even Jane."

Dustin looks at me like I'm crazy and also he's like, cool. Guns and kids. Me: "Promise." And I'm like practically crying cause I want our kids to learn how to shoot zombies in the eye.

Dustin: "Jeez. I promise."

Me: "I know it's like 8:15, but I'm going to bed now."

Dustin: *stares at fox news*